The Ever-Loving Virgin Prince

Dime-store detectives,

     Remember yesterday when I was all bummed out because of the loss of one of my favorite actors and heroes? Remember how I said that though I’d been expecting it, he was the one I least wanted to see go? Well there was someone else I forgot.

     And today he’s dead.

     Much to my dismay, and with a heavy air of sadness, I must report that Darren McGavin has died. Darren McGavin, the great character actor. My father, I assume, surely loves him for his part as The Old Man in A Christmas Story, his favorite film. I, myself, of course favored McGavin as Carl Kolchak, the Night Stalker, a character of which I’ve spoken several times on this fine site. You may even recall I dressed up as him during the last Bay To Breakers.

     In fact, Kolchak the Night Stalker, that is… Kolchak as Darren McGavin portrayed him, has been much on my mind recently. For one, both Kolchak movies and the entire run of the subsequent show have been recently released on DVD; I wasted no time in requesting them for Christmas. Secondly, having finally attended Wondercon once more in the past few weeks, I came away with a new Kolchak book, certainly one of my more prized finds. You see, without question, McGavin’s Kolchak is by far one of my all-time favorite characters in entertainment.

     There’s a brilliance in the design and portrayal of Kolchak as a character. Much as the original author of The Kolchak Papers deserves credit, this is one case in which Darren McGavin played every bit as important a role. From mannerisms to wardrobe, McGavin made the character the cult favorite that it is today.

     To give you a brief overview, Carl Kolchak was a down-on-his-luck reporter, with little in the way of fame, fortune, or even a decent wardrobe. Not much respected in the world of journalism and always struggling for a good story, Kolchak roamed the land in his old seersucker suit and porkpie hat, bluffing his way into places he didn’t belong, stumbling upon threats of a supernatural or incredibly weird nature, and getting harassed and threatened at every turn by the police and most other public officials he encountered. What makes Kolchak a far more entertaining hero than most was the fact that he was far from superhuman, and in fact, decidedly mortal, physically average, and out of shape. When encountering a vampire, malevolent Native American spirit, giant lizard man, or Hindu monster, Kolchak could be COUNTED ON to scream like a girl and run.

     But here’s the thing: Kolchak always saved the day. He didn’t do it because he was paid, or because he was fearless; he didn’t do it for any sort of reward or even any recognition from the public. In fact, the public rarely even knew of the menaces he faced, let alone of some scruffy reporter for a second-rate paper. No, he did it every time simply because he knew it was right. Where the police and the military always failed, he succeeded, never having been limited to thinking merely in normal terms. There was one other thing which drove him to constantly place himself in such circumstances of high danger: the truth. Regardless of his lack of physical advantage, his high capacity for fear, and the lack of friends and aid in his adventures, Kolchak strove on, unstoppable in his mission to find the truth.

     To you, I recommend you go out and find out absolutely everything you can about Kolchak the Night Stalker. In fact, rent the first film, The Night Stalker, for you will certainly be pleased. It was the highest-rated television-movie ever in its day, so that should say something to you of the quality inherent in the piece. Beyond that, I recommend you check out all the performances of Darren McGavin in general, the man never gave a weak performance in his life. He simply wasn’t capable of it.

     Here’s to Darren McGavin: a fine performer, and one we’ll likely never replace.

Be seeing you,
The Virgin Prince