Being the adventures of a hard-drinking, chain-smoking, dashing man about town, aspiring gonzo-journalist and mystery-man.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
It Gets Even Worse
Festive feckwads,
Well looky-here, there was a kid watching the whole time. That just means more fuel for topics of conversation during future therapy sessions. This poor lad will have many years ahead of him of trying to figure out and justify in his head what exactly Santa Claus was doing on this fateful night. Just something more to plague him when he’s awake in bed, alone at nights, pondering why Father Yeltsin used to have such grabby hands as he tried to explain what love was, and remembering how Mommy’s kisses smelled like Daddy’s liquor cabinet.
Oh, and Frosty doesn’t look too impressed either.
Just thought I’d share. ¡Feliz Navidad!
Be seeing you, The Virgin Prince
The Virgin Prince, 7:28 PM
Superhero Profile: The Virgin Prince
Secret Identity: Unknown Alter Egos: King Vice, Virgin Prince Marital Status: Single Occupation: Fighter of Evil, Hero of Men Height: 5'9 Weight: Fluctuates depending on gravity of planet Eyes: Atomic blue Hair: Brown with reddish sideburns Teeth: Look Ma! No cavities Sex: Woefully lacking Gender: Male Place of Birth: A taxi-cab on Pluto Base of Operations: San Mateo County Group Affiliation: The Genius Society of America Known Allies:Bobo the Virgin Chimp, Tyhm-bot, Mister Mystere, Immoral B, The Lusty Lascivian, Super-Crowl, Dave Cane, Foxy Valentino, The Castle, Mighty Madge, Rush Girl, The Green Mike and Red Raven, The Caroling Canuck and The Red Rightwing, Beckman Known Powers and Abilities: Super-analytical computer brain, body trained to perfection, atomic vision, limited mind-control Known Gadgetry and Weapons: Mystical flying Vice-shoes, pickle-relish filled prophylactics, Hondabot: the car that turns into battle armor, the Virgincomputer, the Virginmobile, the Virgincycle and sidecar, Mandy Moore surveillance binoculars
