The Ever-Loving Virgin Prince

Mediocre mush-heads of Mayberry,

     I had intended on following up on the previous post with a continuation of sorts: something to further explain why I haven’t written at all within the past two months. A bit of catch-up; a retelling of the things I lived through, a listing of the highs and lows. But my discussion of the recent events in my life will have to wait. Something more important has come up.

     The day I’ve long been fearing has finally arrived: Don Knotts is dead.

     I knew it was coming; this thought has been recurring in my mind for the past few years. Having already lost Jonathan Harris, Roddy McDowall, Tony Randall, Anthony Perkins, and countless valuable others, we are at the end of an era. Barring friends and family, I can honestly say that Don Knotts was the person I most singularly didn’t wish to see die. Who’s left at this point? Jonathan Winters, and I won’t be much happy to see him go either, being that in addition to his magnificence as a performer, he was also a childhood friend of my recently-deceased grandfather. Add in the fact that he’s one of the few people left to have met the Wright brothers and there’s a further element of tragedy, the simply cruel element of time.

     But as saddened as I feel, I don’t wish to bum you all out. In fact, I wish to impress upon you the greatness of Don Knotts. This tiny man, this small, and unimpressive-seeming man had the pure stuff of greatness. I ask you all to go and see The Ghost and Mr. Chicken or The Incredible Mr. Limpet. Heck, just see anything with Don Knotts in it (besides Pleasantville, which was a rotting, stinky pile of crap) because his acting was always brilliant. Even his short appearance in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World is easily worth it.

     Yes, I am sad to see Don Knotts go. He was quite a singular talent; unique and never matched. Godspeed on your journey to comedy heaven old bean! Give my regards to Vincent Price, Johnny Cash, Boris Karlov, and Jim Henson. I’ll certainly be glad to see you all when I get there. My, how I miss all you old greats. I truly hope that if there is a heaven, if there is a better place, that Don Knotts is in it. He certainly earned it.

Be seeing you,
The Virgin Prince