The Ever-Loving Virgin Prince
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Demon Day Is Here!
Greetings citizens!
As you may have noticed, I haven't posted much during the past few days. I've been busy entertaining family for the past few days, my niece, sister, and brother in law came to visit for the holiday season. Between my niece's constant screaming and my brother in law's death-metal blasting throughout the house, I've had some difficulty in concentrating. Committing my thoughts to text has been a virtual impossibility.
My niece may be child-star-cute, but she’s full-blown-diva-whiny, and I’m starting to think maybe I preferred her as a fetus. When even your trusty ape is too afraid to come out from hiding and sling some feces, you know you have a problem. I’m hoping she’ll become better behaved as she ages.
I came away from the holidays with a decent score. I have not the new trenchcoat I'd hoped for, but I did get a decent pair of long-underwear, both Fletch movies, and yet more Pez dispensers to try to find a place to store. My relatives all seem quite pleased with the gifts I've given them, indeed, my niece loved hers. Baby's First Cigar is always a guaranteed hit. I have the added bonus that her little slice of Cuba also helps to keep her quiet, which is an especially treasured thing now that she's no longer allowed pacifiers.
Sunday, Mister Mystere, The Lusty Lascivian, and I all celebrated Roman Day as part of Festivus. Monday, I had a most persistent headache that had been bothering me for the better part of the day and I assume Sunday's wine must be to blame. The feelings of nausea passed quickly however, while the sheer feeling of exhaustion did not.
A heavy rain fell upon us Monday, pouring down from thick gray clouds that seemed all but impenetrable, the sun nowhere to be seen. My place of employment flooded in places, I had to watch my step in order to avoid the agony of soaked socks. The rest of the day was spent recuperating, I engaged in no activities whatsoever for Cowboy and Samurai Day, which had been Monday.
Tuesday was Pirate Day, and many "Aarrrr!"s were had. After work I went to a going away party for an old chum of mine. We barbecued, drank beer, played cards, and consumed all manner of meats. Irish whiskey and fine, heated sake flowed like wine all around us. When Mister Mystere and I finally returned to the Fortress of Fortitude, I found myself too weak to even finish reading a Superman comic and we both promptly passed out.
That of course brings us to today, which is Demon Day! 'Tis the day to speak in rhyme, not a single unmelodic syllable must be muttered by any of us today. And now the day has come to rhyme, as we lead unto Festivus time! That's right, tomorrow is Spaceslut and Robot Day, followed then by Hobbit Day, in which we shall engage in our feat of strength, The Fellowship of the Drunks! Saturday, of course, we celebrate Festivus Proper, and I must say, I'm looking quite forward to it. The last few years have been duds, but this year Festivus will rock most triumphantly, the Virgin Prince will see to this!
It should also be noted that today is New Year's Eve to all you common-folk. This means more partying for me! To my bladder I make no apologies! I was born to par-tay down! The moon's out and I'm howling! 'Tis the best time of year to fill one's body with poisons, and a fine time for a fine thrusting of pelvises as we get down, get on up, and stay on the scene like sex-machines. And tomorrow, when I next lay my wisdom down upon you, it shall be a new year. Of course, the party will only be warming up for me.
Aluminum pole clutched tightly in hand, I'm filled with anticipation. I defy you to find a better holiday than Festivus. There is none, I'm sure, save for perhaps a Pagan holiday filled with non-stop fornicating, though I think those to be only myths, formed from wishful thinking. I doubt any such holidays do exist in these times, though if they do, I'm going to need dates, times, and locations. Just put it there in the comments section. Good. Good citizen.
I'm sure you'll all do your part to help spread Festivus cheer as well. Why, I'd bet that even now Rush Girl is somewhere up in Canada singing Professional Pirate along with Tim Curry. Hooray hooray! I'm preparing for the Airing of Grievances as you read this. I'm thinking of all the wonderful Festivus carols we'll be carolling, seasonal masterpieces like Professional Pirate, Ninja of the Night, The Spaceslut and the Robot, Master Ninja Theme Song, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, works of art all!
Anyway, as I write this, there’s a very dull party going on somewhere in very dire need of The Virgin Prince. I’m off to warm spirits now. I suppose I better get to rhyming.
Until next time I make you wince,
be seeing you, The Virgin Prince!
As you may have noticed, I haven't posted much during the past few days. I've been busy entertaining family for the past few days, my niece, sister, and brother in law came to visit for the holiday season. Between my niece's constant screaming and my brother in law's death-metal blasting throughout the house, I've had some difficulty in concentrating. Committing my thoughts to text has been a virtual impossibility.
My niece may be child-star-cute, but she’s full-blown-diva-whiny, and I’m starting to think maybe I preferred her as a fetus. When even your trusty ape is too afraid to come out from hiding and sling some feces, you know you have a problem. I’m hoping she’ll become better behaved as she ages.
I came away from the holidays with a decent score. I have not the new trenchcoat I'd hoped for, but I did get a decent pair of long-underwear, both Fletch movies, and yet more Pez dispensers to try to find a place to store. My relatives all seem quite pleased with the gifts I've given them, indeed, my niece loved hers. Baby's First Cigar is always a guaranteed hit. I have the added bonus that her little slice of Cuba also helps to keep her quiet, which is an especially treasured thing now that she's no longer allowed pacifiers.
Sunday, Mister Mystere, The Lusty Lascivian, and I all celebrated Roman Day as part of Festivus. Monday, I had a most persistent headache that had been bothering me for the better part of the day and I assume Sunday's wine must be to blame. The feelings of nausea passed quickly however, while the sheer feeling of exhaustion did not.
A heavy rain fell upon us Monday, pouring down from thick gray clouds that seemed all but impenetrable, the sun nowhere to be seen. My place of employment flooded in places, I had to watch my step in order to avoid the agony of soaked socks. The rest of the day was spent recuperating, I engaged in no activities whatsoever for Cowboy and Samurai Day, which had been Monday.
Tuesday was Pirate Day, and many "Aarrrr!"s were had. After work I went to a going away party for an old chum of mine. We barbecued, drank beer, played cards, and consumed all manner of meats. Irish whiskey and fine, heated sake flowed like wine all around us. When Mister Mystere and I finally returned to the Fortress of Fortitude, I found myself too weak to even finish reading a Superman comic and we both promptly passed out.
That of course brings us to today, which is Demon Day! 'Tis the day to speak in rhyme, not a single unmelodic syllable must be muttered by any of us today. And now the day has come to rhyme, as we lead unto Festivus time! That's right, tomorrow is Spaceslut and Robot Day, followed then by Hobbit Day, in which we shall engage in our feat of strength, The Fellowship of the Drunks! Saturday, of course, we celebrate Festivus Proper, and I must say, I'm looking quite forward to it. The last few years have been duds, but this year Festivus will rock most triumphantly, the Virgin Prince will see to this!
It should also be noted that today is New Year's Eve to all you common-folk. This means more partying for me! To my bladder I make no apologies! I was born to par-tay down! The moon's out and I'm howling! 'Tis the best time of year to fill one's body with poisons, and a fine time for a fine thrusting of pelvises as we get down, get on up, and stay on the scene like sex-machines. And tomorrow, when I next lay my wisdom down upon you, it shall be a new year. Of course, the party will only be warming up for me.
Aluminum pole clutched tightly in hand, I'm filled with anticipation. I defy you to find a better holiday than Festivus. There is none, I'm sure, save for perhaps a Pagan holiday filled with non-stop fornicating, though I think those to be only myths, formed from wishful thinking. I doubt any such holidays do exist in these times, though if they do, I'm going to need dates, times, and locations. Just put it there in the comments section. Good. Good citizen.
I'm sure you'll all do your part to help spread Festivus cheer as well. Why, I'd bet that even now Rush Girl is somewhere up in Canada singing Professional Pirate along with Tim Curry. Hooray hooray! I'm preparing for the Airing of Grievances as you read this. I'm thinking of all the wonderful Festivus carols we'll be carolling, seasonal masterpieces like Professional Pirate, Ninja of the Night, The Spaceslut and the Robot, Master Ninja Theme Song, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, works of art all!
Anyway, as I write this, there’s a very dull party going on somewhere in very dire need of The Virgin Prince. I’m off to warm spirits now. I suppose I better get to rhyming.
be seeing you, The Virgin Prince!
